This blog is intended for parent AND teacher participation. As a parent, I'm (re)reading Price of Privilege through the eyes of a biased supporter of my own child. However, the book read is intended to reach teachers (and others) who know my child (and yours) in the classroom, the hallways, and the general community.I'd like to know how they REALLY see our Ugg sporting, Abercrombie wearing, BMW driving kids.
So - here's to the elephant in the room (and BTW I LOVE this photo!). How do our privileged kids behave when they aren't in our houses? How does our overindulgent model of parenting work for you?
When we drop off homework, instruments and lunches in the office; when we provide our kids with the latest gadget without teaching them etiquette; when we buy them a car with a price tag equal to your annual salary...how do YOU see these actions effecting our kids? What kind of kids do YOU think we're raising?
As the parent of Ugg sporting, Abercrombie wearing, BMW driving kids (my children fall squarely into all of these categories) I would hope that the teachers and administrators of New Albany, to paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King, judge my children on the content of their characters and not the exclusivity of their clothes closet....
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! I, too, hope they judge the kids on the content of their character; however, in relationship to the book, The Price of Privilege, Dr. Levine notes that children who live in privileged environments more often than not suffer from low self esteem, lack of a sense of self, and inability to feel an effect on their environment. I'm curious to know if this articulates itself in the halls of our schools.
ReplyDeleteDebbie Donskov
ReplyDeleteThe "Price of Priveege" culture tries to compensate literally to assure success for it's children.
As Levine states "buying children off is a parenting stategy that only leads to a lessening of parental power and a fortifying of childish greed" and I am sure that no parent has that end in mind. These parental habits will not achieve life long learners but seekers of material rewards. Instead we need to inspire internal motivation that encourages our children to achieve, learn, seek for the rewards of learning.
Darryl Sycher said...
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher at New Albany High School, I am always concerned about the welfare of our students and, yes, I do at times believe some students are more motivated to succeed due to external rewards or praise. As Dr. Levine notes, it is extremely difficult to raise children and in some respects it has come to look "more like a business endeavor and less and less like an endaevor of the heart. We are overly concerned about 'the bottom line' with how our children 'do' rather than with who our children 'are.'" (p.14) I was struck by what the author says that what appears to be a healthy child, i.e. getting good grades, being successful at sports or other extracurricular activities, meeting parent's and community standards of conduct, etc. - all these types of external signs of a model student and child can be deceptive. I agree with Dr. Levine that a model student of this type can display and can do all the right things and still lack a fundamental sense of who they really are -- a "false self." As she says, "Many of my patients have teachers, coaches, and, most of all, parents who have actively poured enormous amounts of attention and resources into these children. Paradoxically, the more they pour, the less full many of my patients seem to be." (p.8) I could not agree more with Dr. Levine that both teachers and parents need to enable students to develop a "sense of self" (i.e. an internal constitution and fortitude)that exhibits those characteristics of automomy, competence, integrity, and good ethical choices in order to deal with the problems that face them and manage their lives in an effective manner. (p.6) Otherwise, we may continue to witness young people like Dr. Levine's patient who used a razor to incise the word EMPTY on her left forearm! (p.4)
Debbie Donskov,
ReplyDeleteLevin states that as adults (parents and teachers) we should emphasize, encourage, and model "prosocial" values (p. 178). I think our children (students) need more tangible opportunities to demonstrate these values. In showing care, concern and genuine physical effort in assisting in a community or civic cause (no grade or material reward involved) our children learn the intrinsic rewards of simply "giving" to others; giving of their time, eneregy, and of their hearts.